Sarah <3 (onexmorexchance) wrote in eyecouldloveyou,
Sarah <3
onexmorexchance
eyecouldloveyou

...I thought I'd share mine.

I went out with this wonderful guy for about 6 months, he broke up with me in September. I live in New York and he lives in Illinois so it's your whole long distance relationship. No matter what we said or what anyone else was saying we were going to do our best to make everything work out. So over those 6 months we both fell equally in love with each other I never thought i'd find someone like him ever. And we'd talk all the time and what not and everything seemed perfect. and we even talked about me moving in with him next year after i get out of school (he's already out of school, he's 19, he works) and even talked about getting married and having kids..a little ahead of ourselves i think, but it was cool to think about knowing that we felt maybe we could spend the rest of our lives together. We loved each other so much. But, everything about him wasn't perfect...he did drugs and drank quite a bit. I've never, or will i ever, do drugs so i'm pretty much against drugs. and i guess alcohol doesnt bother me as much, but the drugs really did bother me..and he knew that. So he claimed he stopped doing drugs when we were together, i mean i want to believe him..but i dont know if i do. I think he was stopped doing drugs now though. So we started fighting alot just cuz we didn't have the time we used to have to talk everyday and stuff..but we tried our best to..cuz he got a new job and his hours were 3pm-1am everyday but sunday and i worked everyday except weekends from 8am-2pm. So that really sucked. and he broke up with me in September cuz he couldnt take it, not being able to talk, and we were fighting again. And of course a few days later he totally regreted breaking up with me. So we decided we'd just be friends, and even though we both loved each other still, we'd see what happens. So we talked...and we wanted to get back together. and in December he went to Mexico for a month so he could away from everything and just think about me and some other things going on in his life. Which was understandable. So when he came back in january he claimed he really really loved me and that there was no way he could go on with out me anymore..and the time he spent away from me he fell more in love with me. So then we talked for about a month and my friend bought her and i plane tickets to go see him for my birthday (which is tuesday..march 8th) and he thought that was awesome that i'd be going to see him for a week. but then we started fighting again. he gets angry really easily...probaby cuz his brain is so burned out cuz of all the drugs he's done...and he snapped on me one day. We were yelling at each other and everything. and I ended up saying something i never should have said...I said that i would never do half the drugs he's done. and he immediately told me he never wanted to talk to me again. that really hurt, i was mad at him but at the same time i was mad at myself. And he told me he could find someone way fucking better than me...so whatever. He told me he couldn't believe i'd rub that in his face and that he thought i was different..and blah blah blah. He told me to never email him or call him or try and get in touch with him ever again. And thats the last time i've talked to him, it was about a month ago. For a while i was crying myself to sleep every night cuz i feel like i messed everything up for us, when really it's his fault for choosing to do drugs and all. But i still shouldnt have rubbbed that in his face. But i think he got so pissed off because what i said is the truth, sometimes the truth is what pisses people off the most. And im begging to move on and think that he stopped talking to me not because he didnt want to talk to me, but because I'm a constant reminder of the truth that he doesnt want to acknowledge and be reminded of. I guess what happened happened for a reason and i have to accept that and move on, and no one said moving on is easy. I feel like i havent moved on from him since September, but now im just going to forget about him and move on...because he's not worth it and he's probably not what i really want. I really loved him though.

Sorry...just reading everyone elses stories about guys and what not made me want to tell mine. Sorry if no one cares, but this is what snow days make you...bored and i felt i needed something to do. Thanks for listening. <3

[You are the re-occuring kind
You never really leave my mind
]

 

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